Nerf Guns and Juice Boxes

This Film was made by my son, Cameron, and his friend Dalin. Cameron is the redhead. His films are quickly climbing the ladder as Youtubes #1 comedy short films! Let me know what you think!!

Valentine'$ Day

What Defines a Holiday?

Valentine’s Day is one of those non-holiday holidays in my opinion.

You don’t get the day off work. Schools and businesses stay open. Greeting card companies mass produce mushy cards, (that all say pretty much the same thing), by the billions. Dentists can plan their retirement around the money they’ll make once the chocolates have been consumed and Jenny Craig is in business for another year helping women everywhere work off the pounds that the chocolates contributed to their figures.
Billions of innocent flowers are murdered so that men can grab something “romantic,” at the last minute, on their way home from work because Hallmark says you aren’t a good boyfriend, lover, husband, partner or dog groomer unless you buy flowers.
Wondering if I was alone in my opinion, I set out to see what others thought about Valentine’s Day. Turns out everyone looks at it pretty much the way I do; that it is a “fake holiday” manufactured by retailers to make money…and to make people feel guilty, sad and, if they aren’t in a “relationship,” even lonelier than they were before!
The men that I talked to felt that when they are in a committed relationship the flowers and loving gestures should be showered upon their sweetheart on a regular basis, and they resent being told that they are supposed to be especially sweet and demonstrative on one arbitrary day of the year by retailers.

I can’t blame them.
Surprisingly, most women felt about the same. No one wants to feel that they are being taken out to dinner or showered with gifts because the other person feels they “have to.”
We (women) do want romance, flowers, etc., but don’t necessarily care that it’s on Valentine’s Day as long as our Snookems is romantic and loving on other days and in other ways. We’ll take sincere expressions of love over obligatory gifts any day of the week…well, most of us will.
When I posed the question on Facebook, “What Do You Really Want for Valentine’s Day?” the answers turned, almost instantaneously to comments about dating…specifically;

Internet dating!

This tells me that a lot of people don’t have one special Valentine this year. Overall, however, most everyone wanted quality time with their special someone…if they had one.
The opinions about internet dating are all over the map, from those who think it’s the greatest invention since sliced bread, while others would rather staple their tongue to the wall than get on an internet dating site. I’m going to explore this a lot more since it seems to be such a hot button topic.
Back to Valentine’s Day though, rather than feel lonely, many single parents, (myself included), enjoy the opportunity to do special things for our children, and in some cases, grand-children. Young children still get a kick out of a homemade Valentine and a box of chocolates. I think it’s more the thrill of just getting a surprise, like when we find $500 in our wallet that we didn’t know we had. This has never happened to me but I’m hoping if I “put it out there” in the universe it will happen.
Overall, for those who were in relationships, both men and women said the number one thing they wanted for Valentine’s Day from their sweetie was time. Quite simply, they wanted time together! For instance, every year on “the BIG day” my daughter and her husband, and now even their 2 kids, go on a trip together to somewhere they’ve never visited before. A friend of mine says that she and her sweetheart write down all the things that they love about the other, then sit down and read them over a glass of wine and some candles. She points out that the same can be done with your children….I’m assuming without the wine.
In this day and age of technology and commercialism, when we are all running way too fast, it seems overwhelmingly clear that the most romantic expression of love anytime is the gift of oneself…

the gift of time!

What is the Definition of a Date?

~ Sex and Dating…or Not ~
There are many different views on dating and sex out there. A man I dated a while back let me know (on our first date), that he wanted to date only me. He said he felt "a spark" (which I believe was simply static electricity,) and he said he "knew" I felt it too! Funny, because I felt nothing (except boredom). I told him I wasn't comfortable with him dating only me as I intended to date others and I wasn't sure if we would even go out again. He said he felt we "owed it to each other to date exclusively and be monogamous"! What was he talking about? We had just met!! He was surprised because in a previous phone conversation I had told him I believed in monogamy. Now he said I obviously didn't, even though I did not sleep with him. Apparently my comment that I would date other people also indicated in his mind that I would be sleeping with the men I intended to date as well...or, he just did not understand the meaning of monogamy.
I think the problem here is one of semantics. He obviously felt that dating and sex were synonymous. Webster's defines a date as "a social engagement". By this definition, I could have a date with my dog (by taking her to the park, for instance). Come to think of it, this explains his confusion when I told him I had a date with my daughter!
He also felt that HE could decide (on the first date apparently), where our relationship would go and how quickly it would go there. I guess it was un-necessary to burden me with this decision; after all, I’m just a woman. Now, please understand, there is no bigger cheerleader than I when it comes to monogamy in a committed relationship! The key is in deciding together what kind of a relationship you do have. I do not believe, as he did, that he had the right to make a unilateral decision regarding whether or not we were going to be exclusive. I find it hard to believe that anyone could make that decision responsibly on the first date!
For me, sex on a first date would be out of the question. Call me old fashioned but I am one of those people that sees sex as an intimate and very personal experience reserved for someone that I actually love, (no, I'm NOT kidding...as funny as that apparently is). Since I have never fallen in love on a first date, I wouldn't "make love" on a first date either. I guess, since I don't fall in love that quickly, I don't fall into sex that quickly either.
The bottom line is that I believe dating is a social event that allows two (or more) people to get to know each other (NO, I'm not being kinky). Why couldn't those individuals get to know someone different the next week...or the next night, for that matter?! Does what a person have (or not have) between their legs determine whether or not we can get to know them better? And if they do happen to be the opposite sex (there's that word again!) are we obligated to "make love" even when we are not "in love"….Or even "in like"?
They say the key to a happy life is learning to enjoy the journey. I believe too many people want to enjoy the "ride" (pun intended) instead.
I believe there will be nothing better in this world than finding my sweet heart, my true love and my soul mate. Hopefully, all three will be the same person! I want to be best friends and grow old together. Until I find that person, I will spend my time making friends and enjoying their company and yes, even “dating”. If I am patient and trust my heart, I hope to always remember to put compatibility before commitment and, above all else, LOVE before lust!

45 Things We Should All Know

This is something we should all read at least once a week! Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio To celebrate growing older, "I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

*I reprint it here to inspire you in the New Year...and the New Decade!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Make this decade the very best chapter of your life!!

Take the Bad with the Good

Fable of the porcupine:

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen.
So they had to make a choice: Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the warmth that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

We all have our flaws. Sometimes it's worth it to overlook the unintentional pain that a loved one might cause us, in order to continue to share warmth and love with them.

But, for those of you that are less romantic...

LEARN TO LOVE THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE!

How Many Blades are Too Many!!

I was watching t.v. recently and saw a commercial for a new razor guaranteed to be the biggest, baddest, bestest, shaver you have ever experienced. Hmmm…first of all, I never thought of shaving as an “experience,” good or bad. It’s just part of my daily routine. As I thought about it though, I did realize that I do constantly change brands of razors. I didn’t think I was looking for a better “experience” but maybe I have been? After all, I did succumb to the ads and buy that vibrating razor, but in my defense, what woman can resist the idea of using anything that vibrates in her shower?

So, why is this new, improved razor such a wonderfully orgasmic experience?

Okay, granted, the commercial didn’t say it was orgasmic but I really felt they were eluding to it. What they claim makes this the razor that will change your life is that there are five, count ‘em FIVE, blades!

I remember my dad used to shave with a single blade…well actually there were two sides to it so it was called a double edged blade but they were on opposite sides.

Then I can remember the first commercials for dual blade razors.

They had an animated demonstration showing how the first blade would stretch your hair/whisker way out, and cut it off but before that hair could snap back the magical second blade comes along and cuts even more off!! Now when the hair snaps back it is actually cut below the surface of your skin! Wow! What a concept. It took the razor wizards another several years to throw a third blade at us.

Who’s gonna settle for 2 blades when you can have THREE!! Several more years passed and another marketing genius came up with FOUR blades! What a concept…

Quatro!

So now, we’ve had only a few years to enjoy our four bladed wonder razors and they are giving us

FIVE! My question is, are the creative geniuses in the shaving think tank still banking on the same theory that they are stretching our hairs and whiskers so far out of our bodies that they are actually being cut five separate times before snapping back? If that were true, wouldn’t they be cut so far beneath the surface that we wouldn’t need to shave again for months? Or at least weeks! So, guess what’s coming next? (I know because I'm psychic).…

That’s right, a SIX blade razor!

It may take years for the powers that be to figure out this new and innovative razor concept so just remember that you heard it here first! I have a plan though. I’m not only going to just beat them to the punch, I’m going to jump way ahead of them! My new, innovative and disturbingly creative concept in shaving, and coming soon to a store near you is: My TEN blade, vibrating, musical razor that tells you your daily horoscope when you turn it on! Only $99.99 I know you are excited to be the first one on the block to own one, but please try to remember that patience is a virtue!

Should I Date This Romeo???

Who'd have thought that a man such as this would just contact me out of the blue on Myspace???

And more importantly, who'd want him to?

Following is an actual, un-edited message I received on Myspace. I did, however, highlight the good parts in yellow.

Hello,

how re you , I'm John by name, i am 40 from Fortcollin's Colorado,But now in UNITED KINGDOM,uK ,my dad is from the State & my mom from italy ,,,I am widow i have a 7 years old son that is my life and he keeps me pretty busy but i enjoy every minute of it,dont plan haveing more now!! am an engineer recently lost my job searching for a new job now, Im an only child, but not spoiled, . I love to do all sorts of things, and sometimes nothing at all...crafting, home improvement projects, photography, camping, dirt bikes, flea market and thrift store shopping is one of my favs. I love mexican food, BBQs at home, Haagen Dazs rocky road ,sleeping in, bubble baths,trying new things, traveling to new places, even if its a lil hole in the wall diner for breakfast in a cruddy lil town Ive never been too. Experience all!! Im a people loving person and can get along with anyone...unless youre a liar or a tweeker, I have no time for bullshit like that in my life! Im very low maintenence and consider myself easy to please. Im not a foofy man, although I can be, I have alot of dress-up stuff I never get to wear. I like to get dirty doing yardwork all day, then shower, dress up and go out for a nice dinner and some fun later......OH- Im down for anything....and I bring no baggage and most importantly no DRAMA with me.Lets have some fun!! Hit me up hope to hear from you soon take care and have a lovely day.......

Oh my goodness...where to begin???

Here's what I get from this very...well written correspondence:

This is a widowed man in the United Kingdom, (just around the corner) looking for a mother for his 7 year old son. Do I look like I want to start all over with kids? I'm 50 for crying out loud. I'm a Grandma!!

He is unemployed and likes taking bubble baths, sleeping in or doing nothing at all. He is a real go-getter, this one! I'm thinking he should take a little of his extra time to go back to school...and maybe start with an English class!

He also likes "cruddy little towns" and "getting dirty." Oh boy! How soon can we go out? He has "a lot of dress up stuff" so I'm assuming he's a cross dresser and I've always wanted to date one of those!

So readers, what do you think? is this guy a catch or what? He certainly knows how to put his best (high heeled) foot forward. I'm kinda thinkin' nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, I'm sure I could get another article out of it!